http://diary.blog.yam.com/subic2007 I like the way I share, I like the way I am, welcome to my world^^Be Yourself~^^ zh-tw blog.yam.com All Rights Reserved 以為距離是可以克服的~
但失敗又在一次的證明我是錯的~
短短的幾個月~
一切將再恢復到以往~
只是這一次又多了一到新的痕跡..............
]]> http://diary.blog.yam.com/subic2007/article/8267590 Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:14:24 +0800 每年的今天我都並不感到快樂~~
甚至不喜歡它的來臨
感覺~少了甚麼~
但卻說不出是甚麼
在替別人慶祝時我甚至還比較開心
但當自己是主角時卻只想一個人躲起來
覺得自己一個反而輕鬆自在
或許我已習慣替別人想
當這個只屬於自己的日子來臨時我卻無法習慣成為大家的焦點
試著問自己為什麼會這樣~
但每一年卻都找不到答案
我不禁開始懷疑自己是不是大家認為應該要快樂的日子自己反而越覺得不快樂呢?!
是因為自己已習慣不被重視卻時常扮演重視他人比重視自己要多而產生的負面影響嗎?
或許也覺得其實這個日子只不過是一個他們的例行公事吧~
我不知道~但我已經習慣了自己一個人的世界~
我已習慣在這個沒人理解我的環境中掙扎著~
所以可能因此在這個特別的日子我反而覺得特別孤單~
因為看著周遭許許多多的人卻沒有一個是了解我的人
他們的好意我只好無奈的接受~
嘴角擠出虛假的笑容只盼望這一天趕快結束~
因為這一天~我真的不覺得快樂
只覺得好累~好累~好孤單~~
我的心已很久沒感受到真正因喜悅而跳動的感覺了~~~
生日~~快樂嗎........................並不快樂

]]> http://diary.blog.yam.com/subic2007/article/7357770 Sun, 14 Jun 2009 22:20:14 +0800 利益當頭真的是人不為己天誅地滅!
有錢的用錢壓死你~
沒錢的用手段害死你~~
但說來說去都是為了自己的利益~~~
當然我相信還是有跟我一樣的蠢蛋相信"我不負人人不負我"和"誠心對待"的人存在著~
不過真的不多~~~
往往這種自私為己的人都是身邊最親近的人~如朋友~如親戚~如兄弟~甚至是父子都有~~
每當以為跟你最好的人最能信任但往往劇情卻不是這樣發展~
結果也最令人痛心!

我不敢說自己不自私~但我一直記得長輩說的ㄧ句話"君子愛財取之有道"
人生中有數不盡的誘惑讓我幾次都在道德邊緣游走~
但好在良心總是能戰勝了被慾望所衝昏的頭~
所以起碼對得起自己的良心~

不過有許多人卻往往過不了利慾薰心的階段而不擇手段的奪取他人之物~
多年來的辛苦與付出被無視~
用盡各種高壓手段來逼迫強奪~
而我們又無可奈何~單純的就因為他們有錢有勢~
難道有錢就是這付德性嗎?難道不是更應該腳踏實地並心存感激的去維護現在所擁有的ㄧ切嗎?
我很慶幸在我這麼年輕的階段能看到這麼多人類貪婪的ㄧ面~
給了我一個很好的警惕!
我確信我會有成功的那一天~
而他們就是我最好的借鏡~
讓我可時時刻刻的反省不要在以後便的跟他們一樣能為了利益違背良心還自以為正派
我不生氣因為我始終相信不是不到是時候未到的法則~
他們在我的眼裡指算是個活生生的笑話與見證~


]]> http://diary.blog.yam.com/subic2007/article/7303298 Wed, 03 Jun 2009 18:48:19 +0800 好難過~從出生到前天跟他相處了三個月~
現在他走了~很愧疚~
自責自己的不盡責~自責自己對養狗該有的知識不足
家裡連續走了兩隻狗~
感覺真的很差~
覺得好難過~
我不是個好主人~不配在養狗了~
也不想在感受到因他們離去所帶來的感傷~
我想~我可能不會再養狗了~ ]]> http://diary.blog.yam.com/subic2007/article/6931320 Sun, 15 Mar 2009 16:44:32 +0800 Yesterday i joined my friend's wedding as groom's man...
well it is my first time to be a groom's man..
it is also my first time to wear Philippine traditional wear Barong!!
i think i do look like Filipino when i wear it...
I'm very happy to attend my freind's wedding..and one of the main reason is i found my long lost friend!
This guy disappeared all of a sudden 5 or 6 years ago...
i tried to find him but unfortunately failed..
when the time he stepped in the church i really cant believe my eyes!
damn!it is him!!!!!
i'm really happy to see him..
so after the ceremony we went to starbucks and start catching up..
We talked a lot and updated things happening to us for past years....
But when i heard his story i really got affected...
Because it is something can only happen in the movie usually and which changed him a lot..

This friend of mine is really rich when the time i know him..
his family owns biggest portion of leather market in his country..
based on my memory he never worries about money..
but 2 years ago because of natural disaster in his country their business got severe impact
and almost get bankcrupt..
though luckily they are able to recover it slowly but i can see clearly it gives him really big impact!
the pressure,the worries,the stress,the frustration...
everything looks so similar to my situation right now...
the diffrence is his is past and mine is just happening....
recently i feel so down because of the current situation..
i know their is nothing i can do about the global crisis..
but i just cant help but to keep thinking what i can do for the situation like this..
really worry.............
i feel so insecure...so lost..............
im struggling hard now to find the way out but i really feel no confident at all....
when teh time i look at other people beside me..
i cant help but to think how come im not able to do the way they are..
they all look so success..their future is so bright...
but mine......i dont know....i really dont know.......
i tried to find something to do...i want to make myself busy....
it is because i know making myself busy is the only way for me not to focus my feeling...
but......every time when im alone....the fear just appears again and again....
i know until i achieve something this feeling wont vanish easily....

my friend told me that after his family business problem he encountered another disaster...
which pushed him to a deeper frustration during that time...
his girlfriend almost died due to some genetic disorder...
when the time he described it i was really affected...
the scene that your beloved one just fainted in front of you...
though his gf is lucky enough to survive but according to him..
she is bald now and unhealthy due to the chemical therapy..
and the doctor told him that this disorder will happen again though it might be after several years..
but when it happen again this girl wont be able to make it once more...
he told me they were supposed to get marry lat year...
but it happend suddenly...he was so shocked...
im sure it is really a nightmare for him based on his expression...
i cant imagine how hard it is for him.....
im so affected by his stories....both business and love life....
i really dont know how to describe how i feel now...
but one thing im so sure now is......im so lonely..im so helpless....
i wish i can find the way out...
i wish there is someone there for me.....
but those wishes are so difficult to happen....
to find the solution on global crisis is tough...
to find someone who i can love and being loved in return is so hard also...
all i can do now is just wish.....
carefree is the feeling i need now...
im so lost........so down.......really down..............
  

]]> http://diary.blog.yam.com/subic2007/article/6908047 Sun, 08 Mar 2009 23:46:24 +0800 話筒那一端由老媽傳來一個噩耗~
我們家仔仔走了~~~
一切真的很突然~
雖說他有癲癇但他每次都能恢復過來~
早上去看他的時看見他嘴巴有口水乾後的痕跡~
所以猜測應該是癲癇發作~不過感到奇怪的是他竟然是趴著的~
就好像是在睡覺~跟他之前發作四腳朝天的樣子完全不一樣~
唉~~~~
不管如何只希望他好走~~~

]]> http://diary.blog.yam.com/subic2007/article/6865187 Tue, 24 Feb 2009 13:33:13 +0800 Last night my brother told me thta my sister is pregnant..
but when i heard it my emotion is really complicated....
well, i should be happy for them and for my family
i like kids, and i'm glad to become uncle....
but...when i think about their future..the kid's future...i'm worried!
everything is so unstable now..
they still have many things need to do and adjust..
honestly..i really think it is not a right time for them to have a baby..
income is not stable, mind set is still immature, relationship needs adjustment..
hay...i really want to congrat them..but deep inside my heart i'm just so worried!
well...the only thing i hope now is if bec of this kid they can be more responsible then it is good...
but if they just keep the same way then it is really worrisome.....
just hope evrything will be alright...

]]> http://diary.blog.yam.com/subic2007/article/6795743 Thu, 05 Feb 2009 10:08:50 +0800 personally i don't think it should happen this way...
we are all unique individual created by god
we all have our own way of thinking...
though the concept between you  guys is different
but is it sharp enough to cut the ties between you and us....?
well...i respect your decision...and there is nothing i can do about with
just hope everything will get fine after time passes by...
bec the seed of argument is not based on hetre but concern and personal principles
all i can do now is let it be....
but just feel sad that i lose another important person in my life  ]]> http://diary.blog.yam.com/subic2007/article/6774012 Thu, 29 Jan 2009 13:34:24 +0800 每當心情因某些是輕鬆些時新的大問題就又發生~
今年怎麼那麼難過啊!!!
想盡辦法為客人趕貨做的要死換來的卻是客人一度的不滿與質疑~
真搞不懂他們想甚麼~是他們自己出問題怎麼到最後全變成我的責任呢?!
幾乎每天挨罵~真的壓力已夠大了確還要一直承受這些~
今天誠實報告客戶狀況卻還被批的傷痕累累~
心裡真的好委屈~男人的眼淚還真差點給他忍不住了~
管理公司將近四年大大小小問題也都遇過~
但從沒一次讓我想落淚~
聽起來還真懦弱啊!!!!!!!
可能在電話中跟老媽談公事時或許是母子關係察覺了一向堅強的我心中的壓力與心情
雖說她沒說甚麼但就在今晚老爸跑來工廠看生產線後一直藉由明天要在附近辦事而要跟我擠在工廠宿舍
看來我讓他們擔心了~~真不孝!
這段期間一直希望自己曾經愛過的人能給句問候,關心,打氣
但總是一次次失望~
不過近來姐姐短短的ㄧ個安慰~
加上今晚爸媽她們的關懷讓我更加覺得事上真的只有親情不會變!
雖說問題還是在但因為他們我能更堅強的去面對了!
真的很感激他們~
尤其是老爸~對這次的事不但沒怪我還叫我不要自己壓的太重盡力就好~
對這次接的單身為老闆我還是必須扛起責任~
但老爸的舉動真的給了我很大的力量!
家裡雖說並不是非常融洽~
但我還是很高興能投胎到這個家庭!
因為我有愛我的父母~
關心我的姐姐!
放心好了~挫敗只是一時~
我絕不會因此認輸~
以後我會做得更好~給大家更好更快了的未來!
老爸老媽還有我的姐弟~I LOVE YOU~
面對面說不出來只好在這表達~~嘿嘿
]]> http://diary.blog.yam.com/subic2007/article/6738342 Fri, 16 Jan 2009 21:15:58 +0800 也為此千方百計的招工~
打從一開始我就擔心下一季的訂單若以他們現在的作業方式絕對又會DELAY並接不上
而昨天也從客戶口中確認這件事~
果然趕完工後才是最大的問題~
當初為了趕這批貨信誓旦旦的跟工人說若這批出的去客人就會把單調回來給我們
但現狀卻無法做到~
二月份一到我該如何面對這群相信我的夥伴們?!
試問以後我要如何在帶領他們呢?!
這些事情客人根本無法體會~他們永遠想的是自己而不是甚麼所謂的生命共同體!!
生命共同體只出現在他們需要我們的時候~唉~~~~~
每天幾乎都睡不著~真的對我的員工很過意不去~
在能做的就只希望能在這段期間找些小單直到四月份~
但現在的景氣談何容易啊!!!
真的好煩~同時也覺得孤獨~
竟沒有一個人在我身邊陪我支持我~
真的好需要有個人陪啊~~~ ]]> http://diary.blog.yam.com/subic2007/article/6733844 Thu, 15 Jan 2009 10:17:40 +0800