Seeing you behaved so freely in the pics,
just reminded me of giving too much pressure these years again,
and the fact that I'm not suitable to be anyone's partner, or friend.

But it was happy to see that smile on your face.
Because, as always, I hope to see anyone I care happy.

Yes.
I should not cheat myself anymore.
It's a recursion.



I know that I'm not quite a socialable person.
I, too, know that I'm not a quite welcomed person.
I would blame it on my not-so-man but of-course-not-woman characteristics.
I am sensitive, but I always don't know how to express my feelings, especially if it's related to friendship even love.
I restricted myself too much, 'casue I don't know now, that how people would agree with my actions, without thinking me as a freak.

So, I always make bad impressions by bringing too much pressure on those whom I call as friends in my brain.
I always keep distances from people in my heart, because I don't know if I reveal my feelings too much, how many people will be shocked again.
And finally, as always, when the time come, I find that I cannot be sure who is really seeing me as good friend.
I am very true to anyone I regard as my friend. But I am pretty afraid of losing them because of my own weird personality.

I feel comfortable when my friends are around me.
But I don't want them feel uncomfortable when I'm with them.
If I can't make them comfortable, I think I have no reason to be their friend because that's too heavy to be with me.

Anyway, the day to say goodbye is coming.
I may just fail again. Hope not.