February 27, 2008
djfanny 在天空部落發表於
2008-02-27 00:49:40
鼓勵此日記：0
Recently, there is a popular event. And I believe you can recognize this guy easily.（He is陳冠希）
Perhaps you have seen all the sexy pictures taking by him.
I didn't, but the only thing I know is one of his female character, the famous star who was married with 謝霆峰. Yes, she is 張柏芝.
＊＊＊
I heard a lot of people talking curiously about:
Will they marriage end in divorce？
Or they will hand in hand getting through the event？
＊＊＊
If you think they will divorce, please raise your hand.
Who think they will not divorce?
How about others？What do you think？
＊＊＊
Actually, we don't know what will happen？
That is because we can not understand what kind of wife or mother 張柏芝 is？
Unless...we can have a conversation with 謝霆峰, or listen to their dialogue.
So without understanding, how can we do the judgement？
＊＊＊
But without dialogue, we can not understand the real reason behind the behaviour.
Let me share an example, while I was teaching at the junior high school.
The math tacher told me that my student Steve was not concentrated on studying, and was in low spirits for three days.
She said that Steve must be playing the game all night, I know the problem she mentioned is getting serious at school.
However, I didn't take her opinion immediately, I decided to ask Steve in private.
After the long conversation with Steve, I found the key element, it's not the game but his parents.
They were fighting so his mother was leaving home, and Steve missed his mother so much that he had no mood to study.
Through our dialogue, I tried to find a solution with Steve.
＊＊＊
I asked Steve: what could you do？
He said：I don't know. I just want my mother come back.
Then why don't you just call your mother and tell her？
Steve answered: Oh！It's simple, I will phone my mom and say how much I miss her.
＊＊＊
The next day, I saw the smiling appeared on Steve's face.
He told me that he made the phone call and his mother come home immediately.
＊＊＊
From my experience, dialogue is a way to generates learning, new options, and innovations.
As I worked in several organizations and different communities over the past time.
I have noticed that which form of talking my clients or friends most often wanted.
They did not want more speeches and presentations.
They did not want more debates between which was right or which was wrong.
What they asked for was deep, honest, inclusive, and respectful dialogue.
＊＊＊
Think about the meeting in your company, if the leader is speaking all the time, just making an order but not having any dialogue.
Then what will you feel？Could it be effective communcation？
I think the answer is "no". Because it is one-way talking, the piece is both valid and limited.
What we need is two-way dialogue, to know other people's perspectives, to see a new and fuller picture.
The purpose of dialogue is to create communication across the border that separates each other.
＊＊＊
Here is another example, there is a couple, George and Mary.
They have different point of views over money issue, George is more economical and will stop Mary buying something.
So they often fight for their own principle with each other, George thinks he is right because money should be saved.
Mary thinks she is right because money should be spent on the worthful things.
Everytime they just stand in the original place and can't reach the common ground.
I told George and Mary, you meet each other to be loved, but not to beat each other. Why not walk a mile and changing your shoes？Having a dialogue but not a debate？
Finally, they understand more through the dialogue, and found the assumption.
They have different definition on "Necessary things" because of the different education from each own family.
When they make it clear, they can respect and take their difference.
＊＊＊
You see, communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, building relationships and intimacy.
Simply speaking, dialogue fosters the trust that is essential to leading through conflict.
Understanding someone from their point of view does not necessarily mean agreeing with them.
Its purpose is not to be nice, but to be effective.
＊＊＊
Debate is familiar because we live in the debate cultures.
It is about winning, defending my own views against those of others, and discouraging further discussion.
It often creates a closed mind attitude, a determination to be right.
＊＊＊
However, the power of dialogue is that these voices can actually be heard.
It lets one side listen to the other side in order to understand.
It is about exploring common ground, discovering new options
It also creats an open-mind attitude, an openness to change.
＊＊＊
Therefore, what will you choose？Debate or dialogue？
Please say your answer loudly: "Dialogue".
Let's have communciation from debate to dialogue.
Perhaps you have seen all the sexy pictures taking by him.
I didn't, but the only thing I know is one of his female character, the famous star who was married with 謝霆峰. Yes, she is 張柏芝.
＊＊＊
I heard a lot of people talking curiously about:
Will they marriage end in divorce？
Or they will hand in hand getting through the event？
＊＊＊
If you think they will divorce, please raise your hand.
Who think they will not divorce?
How about others？What do you think？
＊＊＊
Actually, we don't know what will happen？
That is because we can not understand what kind of wife or mother 張柏芝 is？
Unless...we can have a conversation with 謝霆峰, or listen to their dialogue.
So without understanding, how can we do the judgement？
＊＊＊
But without dialogue, we can not understand the real reason behind the behaviour.
Let me share an example, while I was teaching at the junior high school.
The math tacher told me that my student Steve was not concentrated on studying, and was in low spirits for three days.
She said that Steve must be playing the game all night, I know the problem she mentioned is getting serious at school.
However, I didn't take her opinion immediately, I decided to ask Steve in private.
After the long conversation with Steve, I found the key element, it's not the game but his parents.
They were fighting so his mother was leaving home, and Steve missed his mother so much that he had no mood to study.
Through our dialogue, I tried to find a solution with Steve.
＊＊＊
I asked Steve: what could you do？
He said：I don't know. I just want my mother come back.
Then why don't you just call your mother and tell her？
Steve answered: Oh！It's simple, I will phone my mom and say how much I miss her.
＊＊＊
The next day, I saw the smiling appeared on Steve's face.
He told me that he made the phone call and his mother come home immediately.
＊＊＊
From my experience, dialogue is a way to generates learning, new options, and innovations.
As I worked in several organizations and different communities over the past time.
I have noticed that which form of talking my clients or friends most often wanted.
They did not want more speeches and presentations.
They did not want more debates between which was right or which was wrong.
What they asked for was deep, honest, inclusive, and respectful dialogue.
＊＊＊
Think about the meeting in your company, if the leader is speaking all the time, just making an order but not having any dialogue.
Then what will you feel？Could it be effective communcation？
I think the answer is "no". Because it is one-way talking, the piece is both valid and limited.
What we need is two-way dialogue, to know other people's perspectives, to see a new and fuller picture.
The purpose of dialogue is to create communication across the border that separates each other.
＊＊＊
Here is another example, there is a couple, George and Mary.
They have different point of views over money issue, George is more economical and will stop Mary buying something.
So they often fight for their own principle with each other, George thinks he is right because money should be saved.
Mary thinks she is right because money should be spent on the worthful things.
Everytime they just stand in the original place and can't reach the common ground.
I told George and Mary, you meet each other to be loved, but not to beat each other. Why not walk a mile and changing your shoes？Having a dialogue but not a debate？
Finally, they understand more through the dialogue, and found the assumption.
They have different definition on "Necessary things" because of the different education from each own family.
When they make it clear, they can respect and take their difference.
＊＊＊
You see, communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, building relationships and intimacy.
Simply speaking, dialogue fosters the trust that is essential to leading through conflict.
Understanding someone from their point of view does not necessarily mean agreeing with them.
Its purpose is not to be nice, but to be effective.
＊＊＊
Debate is familiar because we live in the debate cultures.
It is about winning, defending my own views against those of others, and discouraging further discussion.
It often creates a closed mind attitude, a determination to be right.
＊＊＊
However, the power of dialogue is that these voices can actually be heard.
It lets one side listen to the other side in order to understand.
It is about exploring common ground, discovering new options
It also creats an open-mind attitude, an openness to change.
＊＊＊
Therefore, what will you choose？Debate or dialogue？
Please say your answer loudly: "Dialogue".
Let's have communciation from debate to dialogue.
